Save a dog, eat chocolate cake

When all else fails, eat cake! Ever notice how much better you feel after you gorge yourself on a piece of cake? It's not the chocolate! It's not even how moist it is as it slides down your face and into your mouth. The reason you feel so much better is because you have now put your troubles on the back burner and are concentrating on getting EVERY CRUMB of that cake you can find into your body. Who cares if the gas man is screaming at the door to read your meter! There's a crumb on the edge of the table and you've got to get it before the dog does. Chocolate is DEADLY to dogs, you know that! What kind of person would you be if you let the dog die? Another reason you feel so good is because you were strong enough to say YES! Why should someone in a lab coat dictate to you what you should or shouldn't eat? Do you realize it may be that very piece of cake that keeps you out of the home? The way I see it is the years I add to my life depriving myself of that cake may be the ones I spend in a wheelchair drooling on my hospital gown in a urine scented hallway at the Brethern Home. I'll take cake!!! I've made my stand. Ladies of Prudence's Tea Club unite! Fight overcrowded retirement homes and bitter children who can't wait to get you there! I say eat cake and die young, while you can still enjoy it! Actually, you may as well come to my place and we'll do it together. I'll kill you with kindness (or good food) pick your poison!